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Colleagues and family members remembered him as a creative force, a longtime soccer coach, and the “backbone” of the popular restaurant he opened with his wife. He died while vacationing with her in Thailand.
Tim Murff, who opened the popular Sabai Cafe & Bar 15 years ago with his wife, Mon Sutthiwari, died in his sleep Wednesday, Jan. 28. He was 72.
Murff was in Thailand with Sutthiwari visiting her family when he died, said his sons Ryan and Phil Murff. A cause of death has not yet been determined, they said. The family will announce a date for a public memorial service in the coming weeks.
During a staff meeting at Sabai on Sunday, Mon called in from Thailand to express her commitment to “moving forward with Tim’s mission and keeping the restaurant going,” Sabai manager Kevin Kayfez said.
Ryan Murff added that the staff at Sabai is dedicated to keeping the beloved Thai restaurant running with grace and professionalism.
Kayfez called Murff the “backbone” of Sabai, a popular spot in Oakway Center. He was a boss who was involved in every facet of the restaurant, from remodeling the interior to mopping the floor every morning. In the summer, Kayfez often saw him hosing down the restaurant patio in his flip-flops.
Always a coach
A Eugene resident for more than 50 years, Murff had a career that spanned filmmaking and directing, design, waiting tables at Oregon Electric Station, and making documentaries for Foursquare Missions International, which took him to dozens of countries.
He met his first wife, Nina Anderson, at Faith Center in Eugene, where he worked on graphic design projects and served for decades. The couple married in 1975 and gave birth to their first son, Ryan — who jokingly called himself a “wedding night baby” — a year later.
Tim and Nina lost their second child, Paul, to a heart defect two days after he was born, which was “crushing,” Ryan said. Phil was born in 1979.
When Phil and Ryan started playing soccer in grade school, Murff became their coach, and remained so for 15 years until they graduated high school.
“Dad fell in love with soccer through his children,” Ryan Murff said, and Murff encouraged local students who’d played only recreationally get on a path to competing at the state level.
“He had a huge impact on a ton of kids,” Phil Murff said. “He loved to win, but when it came to coaching, it was about the kids. He wanted to impart his love and his knowledge on them.”
Food was central to the Murff household. Ryan Murff said his mom was an “excellent chef and baker.” Tim and Nina especially loved Italian food, and had dreamed about opening a restaurant someday. But Nina was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer in 1996.
When she had finished a course of chemotherapy, the family took a trip to Italy, enjoying the local cuisine and time together. After a six-year battle, Nina died from cancer in 2002. She was 49.
Through his grief, Murff remained a creative soul, his sons said. He had built or remodeled every home his family lived in, skills that would lend to the interior design of Sabai. He loved the arts and architecture and food, interests he later bonded over with Mon.
The two met while Mon was running the front of the house at Ta Ra Rin, another popular Thai restaurant in Eugene.
“When he met Mon, his light turned on,” Ryan Murff said of his dad. “He said, ‘We’re going to build a restaurant around this woman. She’s special.’ He saw her passion and her gift in that industry.”
Through Sabai’s menu, Mon created her own love letter to the dishes she grew up with in Thailand and southeast Asia. And when they opened Sabai, Tim became a coach once more, this time to the staff, some of whom saw him as a second dad, Phil Murff said.
“His passion for the restaurant was about the people,” he added.
Jen Wasner, who was Sabai’s lead bartender for 12 years, said of Murff in a text message: “As an employer, he was a friend and a mentor. He was one of a kind.”
“He was more than just an owner,” lead server Dartagnan Mitchell said in a text message. “He was a mentor and a father figure to me and many other people. His kindness and leadership left a lasting mark.”
When Kayfez, the manager at Sabai, started there as a bartender in 2011, Murff was his barback — stocking liquor and ice and cutting garnishes. During his job interview, Kayfez admitted he didn’t have a background in bartending.
“I’m not a bartender either,” Tim responded, “so we’ll learn together.”
And they did, building an impressive wine list over the years.
“It was so nice to see this staff, this new family of people he could coach, inspire and have successes and failures together,” Ryan Murff said. “Watching them become the most successful restaurant in town just made my brother and I smile so wide.”
In addition to his sons, Murff is survived by his wife, Mon, 48; his father, Bill Murff, 99; a brother, Randy Murff; a half-sister, Holly Payne; and six grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his first wife, Nina Murff; his mother, Phyllis Payne; and a brother, Stephen Murff.
